Becoming a Thick Queen

For those who know me, they'll tell you I'm not very big on social media. I'm more of a physical interaction person because let's be honest, a lot of things online are really for the internet. My little Sis keeps me up to date on what's going on in the media and sometimes, she has to break things down for me. That's a bit sad because I am NOT that old lol. After all, the 30s are the new 20s, right?

I'm a person who prefers to interact with people and travel the world to see the world and learn other cultures, not to let others know I've been there. Now don't get me wrong, I will take pictures and occasionally share them. But I'm more private than most these days. And I was pretty much okay with that.

Fast forward to a little over two years ago, when our community really started putting more emphasis on investing in ourselves.

I moved to an area where there weren't too many of us and I needed to feel grounded and connected. Don't get me wrong, there were some awesome folks where I lived but I felt a piece of me missing. I started scrolling IG, spending more time listening to different podcasts, paying more attention to The Breakfast Club and other vlogs concerning our community. What I consistently heard was "invest in us" and I was motivated. But I didn't see many options for women of size. And I looked. I had enough free time on my hands to try and find them because I wanted to feel connected to my community. To who I am. And wear some awesome clothes while doing so.

Anyway, I couldn't find much out there that wasn't Forever 21, Fashion Nova or one of those boxes that came in the mail. They had nice pieces but they aren't owned by us. I started to become frustrated because there wasn't a way for me to so-called get on board outside of opening an account at a black-owned bank.

How can we forget there's a community which includes people of size and carry on like their worth is not measured pass the ton of fat jokes we always hear? It's frustrating.

Now I've done all the fad diets and lifestyle changes and paid alot of money to alot of people to loose weight. And each of those things worked for a time but eventually, I gained the weight back.

And I'd become frustrated. And gave up. And said I'm just meant to be fat. And a bunch of other self-hate talk. That cycle continued for years until May 2018.

I found a therapist and she helped me with alot of things, most importantly to value myself.

Of course, I want to be healthy and be at a comfortable weight but I've come to terms with the fact that a size 8 isn't in my future.

I am sooooo okay with that.

I'm more than okay with meat on my bones verses chasing down a fantasy number that becomes an obsession and stops me from enjoying my life as if I don't deserve to be happy if I'm not a particular size and weight.

What I'm not okay with is that our community continues to say that we love each other and we're uplifting each other but we're not ensuring each part of our community is uplifted and supported. 

I believe as long as I commit to being healthy and care for myself, it shouldn't matter what weight I am. And I am creating a space for women who feel the same way.

Proverbs 31 says that women are worth more that rubies and gold. What it does not say is "only if she's a size 8."

So let's come together and celebrate women of all sizes and all shades.

Let's celebrate every Thick Queen!